movie references

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A few days ago (probably on Macbookless – Day Two) I remembered what right clicking is. I kept automatically alt clicking and not knowing why nothing was happening.

Have I mentioned that this laptop has NO battery? There is physically a battery in it, but it doesn’t do anything. If the power cord disconnects for more than two seconds then the whole thing shuts down.

I think I’ve figured out the limits of this computer. I can have at most two programs open (Firefox and Pidgin, although I did open Adobe Reader once, that was a trial in patience. I am not Job.) In Firefox I can have four tabs, but none of the pages can have embedded audio or video – java and flash are the kiss of death. Usually any sort of moving or singing thing will crash my browser, but it doesn’t crash quickly. It freezes, and when I try to force quit it takes another 5 minutes or so. If I have more than four tabs open, I get the virtual memory dump balloon. I’ve uninstalled the memory sucking programs that run secretly in the background, but I guess I either have missed a few, or there really is just not enough memory to handle five tabs.

I stayed away from the PC today, mostly because of a killer migraine, but also I started to get into the Picoult book. I still don’t love it. I realized one of my problems with it is I picture Cameron Diaz every time there is a chapter written from the mother’s perspective. I have a love/hate relationship with Ms. Diaz (Being John Malkovich = love, There’s Something About Mary = hate, her political and social activism = love and hate – it’s kind of endearing because she seems to be trying so hard, but it also feels like she’s that girl from your high school that suddenly became really passionate about something because she saw it on Oprah). I know this isn’t fair to Ms. Picoult, but I can’t undo it now, and I doubt I’d like the mother character anyway. Sometimes I like when chapters are written from different character’s perspectives, but it’s not really working for me with this book. I find myself dreading chapters written by certain characters, and the whole thing just seems overly dramatic. I keep getting a sense of “this is really serious you guys!” underneath all her writing. I get it, it’s serious. Quit trying to convince us and just keep that plot going. I think the 23-hour headache has made me overly harsh. I understand that Ms. Picoult has an often-hospitalized child of her own (just from the book jacket, I didn’t do any other research, I’m not ready to hear her story because I don’t want it to influence my impression of the book), and I guess that if I was a person who had an experience similar to the mother in the book or Ms. Picoult then I might feel differently. I might feel that affirmation that comes from reading a story that expresses the thought and feelings you can’t, but I don’t feel that way.

</whining>

Addendum
Upon reviewing my post, I realized that the Oprah comment was unnecessarily snotty. Although I’m not all about celebrities telling us that we can be fabulous if we’d just make all the choices they do – Gwynnie, I’m looking in your direction – it’s unfair of me to criticize the catalyst for one’s politicization. As a feminist, and a person who has formally studied gender for the past decade, it is especially heinous for me to make such a meanie-pants observation. So I apologize. Go ahead, become politicized through Oprah, but please, do some more research – like listening to NPR, because as all good liberals know – everything on NPR can be taken as gospel. 😉

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Yesterday I opened my trusty Macbook (Macanudo – yes, I name my computer after a cigar) and I heard it boot, but the screen went black. The last thing I saw was Steve Martin’s face (apparently I closed my laptop mid-Netflix). When I closed the laptop, I noticed that when the screen and keyboard were at a 45 degree angle, the monitor came back on. I called the Apple folk and they told me to do what they always tell you to do – take out the battery, hold the power button, but he also had me hold some things (control, apple, R – I think) while booting up, then immediately pressing something and P with my right hand. Then my monitor worked at 88 degrees, but not 90, although I think this was one of those correlation not causation things that only happens to create confusion – like when you knock someone over the head with a candlestick and drag them to the hall toilet*. After a series of events that completely belong in the last 10 minutes of the film alluded to above, my laptop made it to my “genius” with a hoop in his lip (the genius had the hoop, not my laptop, my laptop doesn’t have lips). That (the lip hoop) just totally looks like it would hurt and be seriously annoying, but it looked right on him, and if he’s willing to make the sacrifices you have to make for a facial piercing then more power to him. He was efficient and a good-listener, but Macanudo still had to go to wherever Macs go to be repaired. I’m using my super-busted old laptop (the one that famously caught on fire during my last week of undergrad – great timing – thanks) After my laptop caught on fire, my dad brought me an external hard drive so I could transfer all my data before I sent it away to be serviced, but since the plastic on the part of the power cord that connects to the laptop melted a bit, it no longer fit securely. I had to hold the power cord into the laptop for 45 minutes while all my files transfered. Now, this laptop had just had FLAMES actual FLAMES** shoot out of the power port, so holding the cord there was a bit dangerous, and I burned my fingers. The service people diagnosed it with a broken fan (gee, really?), but it still runs very hot (thanks for the cool pad, dad!) and it’s painfully slow. At least I have something to use in the meantime, because apparently I cannot function without frequent email checks and Google News. (Unless I’m camping, then technology be damned – except my lantern, solar radio, and new headlamp) Fortunately AppleCare is pretty awesome, and although my beloved laptop will be gone for a few days, I didn’t have to burn myself to get it fixed. The biggest tragedy is that I will have to suspend the Golden Girls marathon as all my files are on my external hard drive, and I don’t have the cords I need to hook this computer to my tv.

Speaking of the Golden Girls, I have noticed that there doesn’t seem to be a comprehensive online Golden Girls episode guide, and I for one, think this needs to be remedied. I want a searchable database that includes plot summaries, and tags with key themes and guest stars. I’m still sketching out the best way to do this, but I might be bored (and obsessed) enough to take on this little project. We’ll see . . .

*I’m not a psychopath, I promise, it’s a movie reference. I love me some pop-culture. If you know the reference, then we’d probably get along, if you are curious and Google it then we’d still probably get along, if you don’t care then we might get along. 🙂
** on the side of its face

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